Chapter 172: Wanting More

Serena stared at the white ceiling of her subspace, her mind in a complete mess. It was too active for her to go to sleep, but also way too distracted for her to do anything productive.

It just kept playing back to her kissing Theo. What was meant to just be a playful peck on the lips had quickly turned into something else. Honestly, Serena didn’t know what had possessed her to do it in the first place.

She couldn’t quite understand herself at that moment. It was something she would never normally do.

Still, one thing was for sure though, she didn’t regret it like many other things in her life. And she wouldn’t mind doing it again...

But that would be moving things way too fast. This was meant to be a slow courtship, a way for Theo and her to properly build their relationship. It wasn’t meant to get this physical so quickly.

"What is wrong with you today?" Liz suddenly asked, obscuring her vision of the ceiling.

It was leaning over her head in its snake form, gazing down at her with confusion. The system was used to Serena overworking them both whenever she came into the subspace.

Not lazing around like this...

Serena gently pushed the snake’s head away and sat up. "I’m just thinking about something..."

"About what?" Liz asked, slithering to curl up in front of Serena.

Serena gazed at the system, wondering if she should explain what was going on in her head. It wasn’t like she was exactly planning on keeping it a secret that she kissed Theo.

"Well Theo and I kissed." Serena stated plainly a moment later. "I was just wondering if I’m moving too fast."

Liz’s jaw dropped at those words. A moment later it closed it before it shifted into a bat. It then turned back to Serena and asked, "Could you repeat that? I don’t think I heard right."

"You heard right." Serena muttered.

"Have you lost it?!" Liz cried out. "No wait... Are you another soul?! What have you done with my emotionally unavailable- "

"Watch it Liz." Serena murmured.

"Fine..." Liz shifted back into its snake form. "But I’m still shocked about this... It’s so unlike you. Wait, did Theo kiss you first?"

"No... I started it." Serena answered. "I had to... teach him."

Those words immediately reminded her of them kissing. She recalled his strong scent, how his cheeks felt a little rough to touch and how soft Theo’s lips were.

The most surprising fact of all.

Liz, meanwhile, was having a bit of a breakdown at those words. "Y-you... what...?"

"Stop acting so shocked..." Serena muttered. "I know it was a bit out of character-"

"You can say that again..." Liz murmured.

"But it wasn’t bad." Serena admitted softly. "It felt... good."

It was a bit strange to admit it aloud, but Serena did like it. Even if there were some doubts in her mind about making things go too fast. Because the last thing she wanted was to make things awkward.

"So... you’re overthinking it now?" Liz asked, suddenly understanding why Serena was in such a daze.

"I don’t know what to think..." Serena sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Things just kind of happened..."

"Then don’t think about it." Liz stated. "You can use that overthinking ability of yours on other things. Like city planning... But for stuff like this. Just do what feels right."

"..." Serena wasn’t sure what she could say to that.

And Liz didn’t give her a chance to think of anything as it added, "You’re going to have to mate with that priest to fulfill that quest. Are you going to overthink that too? Question every action?"

"That’s different..." Serena pointed out. "We both know what to expect... But things are different between Theo and I. Feelings are involved."

"Then you should stop making it seem like kissing Theo was wrong." Liz sighed. "Just admit you liked it and want more."

"Maybe..." Serena mused. "But what if things go too fast?"

"Then slow it down." Liz rolled its eyes. "Theo’s been waiting for a while, so it’s not like he’s going to push things until you’re ready. Just do things when you’re comfortable."

Serena supposed Liz was right there and that she was clearly overthinking this a bit. And thinking way too much about kissing Theo more. Which was what was probably scaring her the most.

A part of her still feared getting burnt again. She knew it was irrational of her to think that way, but the heart was irrational sometimes. And her mind was just trying to guard itself.

That being said, she was trying to adjust, however, it was liking going to take her some time. She needed to mend some old wounds first.

"Yeah I know, Liz." Serena finally said. "I’m just being a little stupid."

"And being cautious." Liz added. "Which isn’t always bad... But sometimes you have to take risks. Now if you’re done moping around, let’s get some work done."

"That doesn’t sound Liz-like." Serena joked before getting serious. "But sure, let’s do that."

***

The next day, Serena awoke to a very cheerful Theo. She assumed he was still thinking about last night like she had. Of course without any of the doubts. Still, seeing him happy made her glad she hadn’t pushed things too far.

Though why she kept doubting things confused her sometimes. Emotions were messy.

The two felines set about their normal tasks of preparing for the day ahead, Serena having to think about the Council meeting this afternoon. Which she was quite nervous for.

Months of planning and research was going to be presented and it would decide whether she would continue with the development project or not. And she needed to get the Council to agree to her telling Theo about it.

Because she wanted one less secret between leaving only the soul swapping secret. If she could begin to explain that one. Though perhaps it would be fine to leave the rest of the world ignorant about her past life.

Granted it would help explain much about her night terrors and knowledge. But a part of Serena also wanted to hide the fact that she had blood on her hands.

Because there was no doubt that others would look at her differently if they knew. Keep their distance which she couldn’t exactly blame them for doing so.

"Something the matter?" Theo asked, noticing Serena frown.

Serena blinked, taking a moment to process his words, before she answered, "Nothing’s wrong... Just thinking about what needs to be done."

She then picked up the vegetable scraps by his side and added, "Anyway, I’m going to go feed the wild birds."

Theo nodded and watched her leave, heading to the coop. Once Serena had disappeared from view, Theo was left to his own thoughts. Which were consumed with yesterday’s activities.

He never really understood why beastmen were always after physical affection from their mates, but he could understand it now. He wanted to kiss Serena again.

But he wasn’t sure how to approach it. Or if Serena was even willing to try again. Perhaps she didn’t like that he was a little slow at first. He knew that was probably unlikely.

But he couldn’t help, but notice that she seemed distracted.

Maybe I’m just overthinking things... Theo sighed, running his hands through his hair.

He turned his gaze to the meat roasting for breakfast, wondering what he should do. Guess this was what he got for ignoring his uncle whenever the older beastman tried to give him advice.

Kiro soon woke up giving Theo little time to keep worrying about Serena and his relationship. Instead, he focused on telling the cub where his sister had gone before helping him get ready for the day.

Serena came back from feeding the wild birds as Kiro was washing his face. She greeted the cub with a pat on the head before moving over to Theo.

She took a seat next to him, closer than normal and Theo couldn’t help, but feel happy. Serena didn’t dislike him. She was probably just thinking about other things.

"How long do they need to cook for?" Serena asked.

"A few more minutes." Theo replied quickly, watching as Kiro headed inside. Then in a lower tone, he asked, "About last night..."

"I enjoyed it." Serena stated. "Though you need a few more lessons."

It took Theo a moment to realize what she meant by those words. He then leaned down and whispered, "Alright... I can take those lessons... Just tell me when."

Serena shifted her gaze over to him, looking like she was about to say something back. However, Kiro arrived with the bowls.

"I brought the bowls!" Kiro stated proudly. "Can we eat now?"

Theo nodded his head and the two adults turned their attention to feeding the hungry cub. But neither one forgot about what was said. They would just need a moment alone.